its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize