I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
