It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My vagina is very pro this idea
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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