We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
