Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
