flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize