K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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