so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
someone owes me an orgasm
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She bit a glass in half.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
