Swine flu. Run for my life!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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