have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
