You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize