Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
