we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize