2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
