Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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