I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
