Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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