If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
