I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
