dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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