So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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