I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
