Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
