dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
