Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
