Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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