Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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