Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
