just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You took a bar mat shot.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
