Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
