The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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