dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
