here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Life is so much better after having sex.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
