In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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