he shaved USA in his pubs
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize