Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Sorry my hands just texted you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
