my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize