Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
