You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
