I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
