Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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