no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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