ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
