She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize