So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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