Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize