Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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