Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
