I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
