google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I will pee on everything he values.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
