i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
