Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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