pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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