I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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