All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
