Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We have started to decorate penises.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
