meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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