I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize