He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
