that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize