Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
