I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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